Definition of a Pillow Princess

What is a Pillow Princess?

What is a Pillow Princess?

The term “pillow princess” evokes a few ideas: luxury, royalty, sensuality. When the phrase rests on the tip of your tongue, it brings forth the image of a beautiful woman atop the richest silks, covered in strings of pearls. But if you called your partner one, they might not see it that way. 

So what does pillow princess really mean? Is it good, bad, or somewhere in between?

What is a pillow princess?

To put it bluntly, a pillow princess is a woman who receives more than she gives. A pillow princess will typically lie back and let their partner do all the work, and she’s delighted with that arrangement. So, to some degree, the actual definition does resemble a royal woman lying atop Egyptian cotton. 

But it’s not always that glamorous! To some, the term is derogatory and describes a lazy and uninteresting sex partner. To others, though, a pillow princess can be a perfect submissive. Some take pride in the term, proudly using it to self-identify. Like sexuality, the connotations are totally fluid!

Where did the term come from?

Pillow princess originated in the LGBTQ+ community in the 90s surrounding the discussion of lesbian dating. Articles, stories, and other publications would use this phrase to describe a more passive lesbian who is mainly interested in receiving sexual stimulation. 

How did the term evolve?

In the 2010s, the term “pillow princess” entered the mainstream vernacular and gained more accepted use when describing heterosexual couples. Popular websites and magazines began adopting the term for their articles, bringing it to a larger audience outside the LGBTQ+ community. 

In heterosexual publications catered towards men, an analogous term is sometimes used: starfishing. This is generally used to complain about a “lazy” partner and has a harsher connotation than “pillow princess.” 

Is it good or bad?

That depends on who you ask! Among LGBTQ+ women, the term can carry both positive and negative connotations. Like the previous example about starfishing, some women use the term to disparage an inactive, inattentive, or lazy partner. 

However, some women would specifically seek out a self-proclaimed pillow princess for kink purposes. If you’re looking for a submissive counterpart to your dominance, a pillow princess might be just the right fit. After all, a pillow princess wants to lie there and take it, and you can work your magic without any interruptions! In these situations, a pillow princess would definitely be a good thing. 

The term can also be used when discussing sexual experimentation, as someone who is dipping their toes into new sexual situations or partners may be more hesitant to reciprocate sexual acts. 

Am I a pillow princess?

Hey, good question! If you’ve gotten this far, you might be curious about how you and your preferences fit into all this. So what exactly does a pillow princess do (or not do) in bed?

  • You love to relax. Anything remotely uncomfortable has got to stop. Weird position? No way. Hitting the headboard? Absolutely not! You’re here to have a good time, not train for the Olympics.
  • You love sex toys. Why use your hands when you could just use a wand? It’s such a simple, straightforward solution, and one that you love to take advantage of. 
  • You receive head more than you give. This is a given! Your ideal encounter is to lie down, get off, and be done with it. 
  • Your favourite positions are the ones where you’re lying down. Yup, simple as that. Somebody else can get all that stuff done! Is it lazy? No way—you just have your priorities straight. 

So, how did you do? Can you confidently proclaim you’re a pillow princess? Even if you can’t (or don’t want to), now you know everything you need to identify one!


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