Thinking of getting into the dominatrix kink? Well, you should probably know that it isn't just about controlling your partner. Not if the two of you want to have fun.
While you probably will learn 'on the job', it is worth reading through these 7 ways to be the ultimate dominatrix to ensure that you get things off on the right foot.
Know What Your Partner Likes
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make as a dominatrix is believing you are the only one that matters. You aren't.
Yes. You are in control. However, it has to be fun for your sub too.
Being a good dominatrix is all about building up a rapport with your partner. You need to learn how to trust one another. You need to learn what they like. More importantly, you need to know what their boundaries are, and what their safe word is.
You need to go into your relationship with this level of trust. Your sub needs to know that no matter what happens, you aren't ever going to be pushing things too far.
Know Your Limits
You have your limits too.
Again, yes. You are in control. However, you probably have lines about what you can and can't do to your partner. Understand them.
Remember, being a dominatrix is all about going in with confidence. If you are uncomfortable with doing something, then that is going to show in your behavior. It won't be fun for anybody.
Dress Up
If you want to do a bang-up job as a dominatrix, then you are going to need to get yourself kitted out in the right clothes. There are plenty of dominatrix costumes out there, so you probably shouldn't have too many issues.
Don't just think about the clothing, though. Every dominatrix should have a theme to their 'punishments'. Really lean into the role. Some of the best people even have music to go with the whole theme, although if this is your first time being a dominatrix, then this is something which may come a little bit later on down the line.
You don't need to buy all your clothing in one go, don't worry. Build up your collection over time. You will be glad that you have a good selection of clothes to choose from. This means that there is an exciting adventure to be had every time you step into that bedroom.
Learn How To Use Toys
As a dominatrix, you are going to be using a lot of toys for your punishments. Whips. Restraints. Vibrators. Dildos. You name it. It is probably going to be in your dominatrix arsenal.
It is important that you learn how to use each and every bit of gear in your kit. If you get familiar with everything that you have at your disposal, you will know what to use and when to use it. For example; you probably don't want to use the heavier toys at the start. Go in easy.
As you become a bit more advanced with your dominatrix stuff, then you can expect the collection of toys that you have. Nipple clamps always go down a treat, and you may even want to give light electric shocks (if your partner is comfortable with it!)
Know How To Control Your Partner Without Screaming
You know what the worst dominatrix is? The one that nags or screams at their partner.
Yes. We know that being a dominatrix is about controlling your partner, but you can do that without screaming at them. In fact, screaming at them is probably going to undo your hard work.
Learn how to speak with a powerful and commanding voice. Even when you are whispering, you need to have that control in your voice.
Don't worry if you don't nail it the first time you dive into the world of domination. We can assure you that the more that you do things, the easier it will become. You will learn to get a read on your partner, and everything will go swimmingly!
It Isn't Just About The Sex (Or The Orgasm)
Being a dominatrix isn't just about the sex. In fact, it isn't uncommon for dominatrix sessions to end up with sex or an orgasm.
It is about the experience of controlling, or being controlled. Orgasm denial is often a key part of domination. Play into it.
Once you start to realize that this isn't just about having sex or screaming orgasms, you will really be able to shake up the way that you do things as a dominatrix. There are many things that you can explore, and you will end up having a lot of fun.
Of course, every so often, you are going to want to throw a bit of sex into the mix. After all, people want to have sex at some point.
Aftercare Is Important
Finally, a good dominatrix will never neglect aftercare.
When you are done with your session, make sure that you speak to your partner. Give them a hug. Show them that you love them. If you don't, then this can be quite damaging psychologically to your partner.
A few hours later, you can discuss what they like and didn't like about your sex session. This feedback is going to be fantastic for when you next want to hop into that dominatrix roleplay. All feedback is good feedback!
Final Thoughts
Follow these tips for becoming the ultimate dominatrix, and we bet that you have more fun in bed than ever! Although, do bear in mind the tips that we give on this page are just guidelines.
It is always up to you to talk to your partner and work out what you both want from your roleplay sessions. If you aren't on the same page, then you aren't going to be having all that much fun in bed. In fact, it probably won't go well at all.
We promise you. The more you do things as a dominatrix, the easier it will become. Nobody is born to be a dominatrix.